"Greetings, my name is Bertram or 'Bertie' if you prefer. My brother's name is Bernard and often called 'Bernie.' Sometimes people get mixed up which of us they mean.
"I self identify as a C-130. That is, I'm a cargo plane. The "C" in "C-130" stands for "cargo." My preferred pronouns are "it" and "it's." I was in the military at first, but have been in civilian life for a very long time now. I bring supplies to areas beyond the reach of serviceable roads or areas far from stocks of supplies. With a large enough level field I can land, otherwise I can drop supplies by parachute.
"My brother Bernie has an intriguing story. His real identity is a tractor for landscaping, but it thinks it's an oak tree. Sometimes just to humor it we hang a bird feeder on its left arm and let couples carve their initials over its belly button. That of course is only till it comes to its senses and realizes it's a tractor. Tractor or tree, its preferred pronouns are "it" and "it's." It has several attachments; a front loader, a back hoe, a tiller, a rake and so on. When it finally realizes it's a tractor we plan to use the pronouns "they," "them," and "theirs."
"Bernie has a friend named Vilaria. As far as anyone knows she is a human female, but she has always wanted a tractor. The family approves and thinks it might work out fine if she married Bernie. To encourage Bernie to realize its true self we often ask it to think about being a tractor in order to marry Vilaria. So far it hasn't helped.
"I have a contract to bring supplies to a team of scientists high in the Andes," Bertie told Bernie."
They are measuring the temperature deep inside the mountains to add it to their calculations of the temperature of the atmosphere across the planet. The leader of the scientists is Superfetus because of his remarkable climbing abilities.
Because Superfetus has a unique perspective on life owing to his unique anatomy, he can sometimes help others see their way forward to their own better understanding of their true self. Bertie had a plan.
"May Vilaria join us in the Andes?," Bernie asked.
"We won't be there long," Bertie said. "Unless you decide to do some landscaping for the scientists. That might take weeks," he added.
"There you go on that landscaping kick again," Bernie was annoyed. "My roots can move dirt, but I don't think I can be much help landscaping," Bernie was dismissive.